Onwaachige the Dreamer Read online

  “You met the cat,” Little Deer said, stating the obvious as he came up from behind Joshua. The cat darted toward the woods surrounding the lakefront.

  Joshua turned around as he recognized the stoic voice. He got up and ran over to Little Deer, stopping short of giving him a warm embrace. For a moment, Joshua wondered if he were still dreaming.

  “Where’s the love?” Little Deer said, inviting a hug.

  Joshua smiled and gave Little Deer a tight embrace. He had missed those so much since he’d left the Rez.

  “It’s good to see you, Pukawiss,” Little Deer said in a barely audible whisper.

  “I see Mokwa didn’t keep my secret,” Joshua said.

  “He doesn’t do secrets,” Little Deer said.

  “Well, he needs to keep this one,” Joshua said, releasing Little Deer from his embrace. He gazed into Little Deer’s eyes. “Didn’t he tell you what happened?”

  “I didn’t give him a chance to,” Little Deer admitted.

  Joshua turned and faced the lake, taking in a deep breath in contemplation of his next move. Failing to find it, he changed the subject. “So, who is the cat?” Joshua asked, fascinated by the village’s latest resident. It slowly walked back toward Joshua, evidently deciding that Little Deer wasn’t too much of a threat.

  “Just some cat,” Little Deer said, stating the obvious. “He’s been hanging around since you left. Gentle Eagle named him Pywacky.”

  “Pywacky?” Joshua replied, baffled by the peculiar word. He had learned many Ojibwe words that summer, but this one escaped him. After a fruitless mental review, he gave up. “I don’t think I know that word,” he finally said.

  “It’s not Ojibwe,” Little Deer informed him. “It’s from an old movie, Bell, Book, and Candle. I think.”

  “Is that an Ojibwe movie?”

  “Not everything up here is Ojibwe,” Little Deer said.

  “Sorry,” Joshua said feeling like a complete idiot for the first time since the beginning of the summer. He had had so many misconceptions back then.

  “He sure is fluffy,” Joshua said as he played with Pywacky’s long, smooth coat.

  “Yeah,” Little Deer agreed. He looked like he had nothing else to add, but being around Joshua opened him up. “Gentle Eagle says he’s a Maine coon. They’re called that because they were first introduced in Maine, and the people there thought they looked like raccoons.”

  “Interesting,” Joshua said. “Looks more like a cat to me.” He stared into Pywacky’s beautiful green eyes. “Gaazhigens,” Joshua said, recalling the Ojibwe word for cat. Pywacky purred loudly in response.

  “How do you say purr in Ojibwe?” Joshua asked.

  “I think it’s just purr,” Little Deer said. He watched as Joshua patted the friendly cat. “You’re the only one he has approached since he arrived here.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, we’ve been feeding him, but he won’t let us pet him.” Little Deer sounded sad as he said it, as though he had tried unsuccessfully many times.

  “Maybe it’s because I was sleeping,” Joshua said. “Not much of a threat, I guess.”

  “I guess,” Little Deer agreed. “He likes fry bread.”

  “Who doesn’t?”

  “He doesn’t eat it. He just chews it. And licks it. Must be the butter.” Little Deer continued to watch as Joshua played with his new friend. Finally, he got back to what had preoccupied his mind since he discovered Joshua was back on the Rez. “Why didn’t you tell me you were back?” He sounded hurt, but as was typical, it was hard to read any emotions into anything Little Deer said.

  “I didn’t want anyone to know.”

  “You told Mokwa.”

  “Mokwa found me,” Joshua corrected. “I would have told you too, but the fewer people that know, the better.”

  “Why?”

  “It’s complicated,” Joshua said, hoping Little Deer would leave it at that.

  “Okay,” Little Deer said. But he didn’t really seem content with Joshua’s response.

  “So I don’t need to tell you what happened?”

  “I won’t tell anyone you’re here,” Little Deer said. “You can trust me.” He turned around and headed back toward the trail. “I need to get back to work. I’ll come back to bring you lunch. It’s good to see you again, Pukawiss.” With that, he disappeared down the trail.

  Joshua felt bad he had hurt Little Deer’s feelings, but he would eventually understand. All Joshua had to do was explain to him what had happened. But there would be plenty of time for that. And as much as he wanted to spend time with Little Deer and Mokwa now that he was back on the reservation, he was relieved that they had to work all morning. Joshua had to get some sleep.

  LITTLE DEER caught up with Mokwa as he headed for the Trading Post to get a smudge stick in order to purify the Wisdom Lodge before the tourists arrived. Smudge was an important part of every Ojibwe observance, as it cleansed the area of any negative thoughts and emotions, preparing one mentally to be more receptive to the gifts and messages of the manitous. Ordinarily, Mokwa would have already smudged the Wisdom Lodge by the time the village opened in the morning, but he was a bit behind in performing his morning chores due to his encounter with Joshua. He also still had to greet his girlfriend, Jenny, at the Moon Lodge. She would totally let him have it if he didn’t at least stop by for a quick hello.

  “So how is Pukawiss?” Mokwa said to Little Deer, having heard him coming up from behind. Mokwa had gotten used to Little Deer’s uncanny ability to appear suddenly out of nowhere. He was almost completely undetectable. Perhaps everyone had that ability, but most people were loud, and thus announced their presence long before they arrived. Little Deer just crept up on people until he was almost right upon them. And even then he rarely spoke first—only in response.

  “He’s okay. I’m mad at you. Why didn’t you tell me?” Little Deer replied glumly as he caught up with Mokwa.

  Mokwa knew better than to evade Little Deer’s questions. He could be relentless at bringing the topic back to what he really wanted to talk about. He always did this with as few words as possible, which made dodging the subject especially difficult. “Bro, don’t be mad at me,” Mokwa pleaded, still feeling guilty from his earlier encounter with Little Deer.

  “You should have told me,” Little Deer chided him.

  “I wanted to, but I couldn’t. Dude!” Mokwa felt he had just given a perfectly valid and coherent justification for his actions.

  “Okay,” Little Deer said, shrugging it off. Mokwa liked that most about Little Deer. Little Deer always seemed content to live in the present. Perhaps it’s why the two got along so well.

  “So, we’re good?” Mokwa asked.

  “We’re good,” Little Deer said. “But you know you can’t tell Gentle Eagle?”

  “No worries, bro. I’ll just slip into the Trading Post, get the smudge, distract him with my charming personality, and slip out. Piece of fry bread!” It was all so simple to Mokwa. He had already forgotten how quickly he had caved in to Little Deer.

  “You can’t keep secrets,” Little Deer said.

  The door from the Trading Post opened, and Gentle Eagle walked out. Mokwa tensed up, overtaken by panic. Joshua’s secret was all he could think about. It gnawed at him from deep inside, grasping onto his conscience and strangling it like a coiled serpent. Little Deer was right. He was going to cave.

  “Mokwa! Figured you were still sleeping, as always,” Gentle Eagle teased, acknowledging Mokwa’s absence from breakfast.

  “Um, I forgot something, Old Man,” Mokwa said, his voice quivering as he raced to find an excuse to flee.

  “Change of plans,” he said to Little Deer in a complete panic. “You get the smudge from Gentle Eagle, and I’ll head down to the Moon Lodge and greet Jenny. Then we’ll meet up again at the lake at lunchtime.” Mokwa had already started down the trail before he finished his words.

  “Okay,” Little Deer responded.

  “Someth
ing wrong with Mokwa?” Gentle Eagle said to Little Deer as he watched Mokwa running down the trail to the Moon Lodge.

  “Got chores, Old Man. Can’t waste time with you right now,” Mokwa shouted back, having overheard the question. Trading barbs was the best way to keep Gentle Eagle from becoming suspicious. Besides, he never let Gentle Eagle have the last word.

  “Hmmm,” Gentle Eagle uttered in a puzzled tone.

  JOSHUA ENJOYED the sensation of the warm, fluffy, vibrating ball of fur cuddled up gently against the top of his head. It contrasted sharply with the cool foliage of leaves and twigs that made up his bed by the lakefront. Am I dreaming again? Joshua briefly considered. But Joshua realized he was awake as he opened his eyes and saw Pywacky slumbering comfortably next to him, perfectly content with the world.

  “Must be nice,” Joshua whispered. He reached over to pet his companion. Pywacky purred loudly, his eyes still closed.

  Only then did Joshua realize he had been sleeping, and he didn’t know for how long. The sun had climbed higher into the sky, now reaching high above the tree line along the far side of the lake. Joshua guessed that it was around lunchtime. But it didn’t seem like he had been asleep that long. More significantly, he couldn’t remember any dreams. That was unusual for him. He always remembered his dreams upon awakening, even the trivial ones. And his dreams had been anything but trivial of late.

  Then a fleeting memory rushed to the surface, dangling before his awareness, before receding back into the depths of his subconscious mind. It was an image of his father, trying to take full form, before vanishing. Did I dream about Dad? That would be strange. He hadn’t thought much about his father in weeks.

  Black Raven had ditched him at the beginning of the summer, leaving him to fend for himself against his intolerable mother. She had always been unbearable, but at least his father had been around to soften her. Not that his father had been of much use against his mother. But there had been a certain solidarity he had felt when his father was around. Whenever Joshua felt the domineering oppression of his mother, he at least knew that his father stood by him in full, quiet sympathy. But then his father had taken off inexplicably, leaving Joshua to doubt if there ever really was anything legitimate about his relationship with him. Did he truly care about me? Joshua was forced to wonder. If so, how could he just leave without even saying good-bye? And where was his father now that Joshua needed him the most? Did his dreams have those answers? If so, he wouldn’t get them today. The tantalizing glimpse of his father had already faded into the impenetrable mist of his subconscious.

  Joshua heard the crackling noises of twigs and leaves coming at him from behind.

  “Lunch time, Pukawiss!” Joshua heard as Mokwa came up the trail, joining Joshua at the lakefront just as he had promised. Pywacky opened his eyes, visibly startled, and darted off toward the safety of the forest. Joshua barely reacted to the latest intruder this time. He was getting used to people sneaking up on him. He saw that Little Deer was with Mokwa. The two each held a huge birchbark basket filled with all kinds of food.

  “Rise and shine, bro!” Mokwa shouted again.

  Joshua just wanted to sleep some more, but he was also starving. Already his salivary glands prepared for a feast as his imagination ran wild, contemplating what might occupy those baskets. And truth be told, he didn’t even have a very active imagination at this point. Any food at all would have thrilled him. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had eaten.

  “Come on, Pukawiss, I got lizard intestines here,” Mokwa joked. “Oh wait, and some spider gallbladders, I think,” he said as he feigned rummaging through the basket. Joshua smiled, saying nothing, but Mokwa was obviously awaiting a reaction. “And oh, oh, I think I have someone’s favorite here. Raccoon guts!”

  Joshua finally burst out laughing. He couldn’t resist Mokwa’s playful sense of humor. It felt so good to laugh again. He stretched his arms and attempted to rub the remaining sleep from his eyes. He stumbled to his feet and joined the two at a picnic table near the edge of the lakefront. Pywacky spied on them from behind a tree, seemingly less afraid now that food was involved.

  “You weren’t supposed to tell anyone,” Joshua quietly accused, expressing his disapproval for having dragged Little Deer into this.

  “I’m not anyone,” Little Deer responded, sounding a bit hurt.

  Joshua nodded approvingly. “Okay, it’s fine that you told Little Deer, but no one else.”

  Mokwa simply faced down, looking guilty, as he bit into his peanut butter sandwich.

  “Mokwa, no one else, promise me!” Joshua insisted, not wanting to let this drop.

  “Bro, I would never!”

  Joshua shot him a knowing glance.

  “Okay, okay, I promise. Sheesh. You sound like Jenny.”

  As if on cue, Jenny entered the area with a big affectionate smile. Joshua couldn’t believe it. Mokwa hadn’t just told Little Deer. He’d told his girlfriend as well. It had only been a few hours and already Joshua’s secret was spreading like wildfire to nearly everyone at the village.

  “You didn’t,” Joshua said judgmentally.

  Mokwa faced downward in shame once again, while still managing to get another bite out of his sandwich. Joshua put aside his concerns as the warm feelings he had come to have for Jenny resurfaced. He’d really missed her, despite his initial jealousy earlier in the summer. He got up and ran to the open and inviting arms of the person he had come to see as his sister.

  “It’s so good to see you, Pukawiss,” Jenny said as she held Joshua in her arms.

  “So how did you know I was here exactly?” Joshua asked, directing the question more toward Mokwa than Jenny.

  Mokwa continued to eat his sandwich, pretending he didn’t hear.

  “Mokwa!” Joshua accused.

  Mokwa looked up slowly, betraying the fact that he had no defense. “I couldn’t help it. She totally beat it out of me!”

  “Beat what out of you?” Jenny asked, perplexed.

  “That Joshua was here,” Mokwa said, motioning for her to play along.

  “Are you kidding me?” she replied, obviously not getting the clue. “The first thing you said to me this morning was, Jenny, you are not going to believe this!”

  “Mokwa!” Joshua shouted.

  Mokwa’s face shot back down, clearly his new preferred position.

  “Before we continue, did you tell anyone else?” Joshua asked. His tone was more dispassionate this time. He simply wanted to understand the full extent of Mokwa’s betrayal, innocent though it was.

  “Of course not,” he insisted indignantly. “I would never!” His eyes moved upward as if he were considering the validity of his own statement. “Besides, I didn’t see anyone else,” he muttered, obviously thinking that was a justifiable defense.

  Little Deer had patiently observed the conversation and interrupted with his usual bit of clarity. “It’s only Gentle Eagle that can’t know,” he said.

  “Little Deer is right,” Mokwa said, latching on to Little Deer’s observation.

  “Okay, fine, so what am I going to do?” Joshua said in a helpless tone as he sat back down at the table next to Mokwa. He laid his head on Mokwa’s shoulder. Now that he was finished eating his sandwich, exhaustion had reasserted itself. “Maybe I can just live here at the lakefront,” he suggested, fully knowing his plan was not viable.

  “What? Are you kidding?” Mokwa asked.

  “It’s got everything I need,” Joshua quietly insisted. He didn’t sound very convincing, though. “It’s away from the tourists, and the interns never come out here.” As Joshua continued to talk, his plan sounded increasingly possible to him. “You guys can bring me food and water. And I’ve got company,” he said, pointing to Pywacky, who was still spying on them from behind a tree.

  “There you are, Pye! Come here, boy,” Mokwa said, noticing the cat for the first time. He held up a piece of fry bread, obviously wanting to coax him from his hiding spot. Pywacky stared at
the enticing meal, but safety overruled his desire for a treat, and he stayed by his favorite tree.

  “It’s going to start getting cold,” Little Deer said.

  “Yeah, my little bro is right,” Jenny agreed. “Fall is fast approaching. You’ll freeze out here. You’ve only got a few good days, maybe weeks at best.”

  “And what about school? School starts up next week,” Mokwa reminded him.

  Little Deer stared at his food, suddenly looking very depressed.

  Joshua had completely forgotten about school. Summer was almost over, and if he were back in Rockford, he’d be starting a brand new school next week. He normally enjoyed school, but lately it was the last thing on his mind. But his friends reminded him that even on the reservation, reality existed and had to be dealt with. As it kicked in, Joshua started to understand that running away was only a temporary solution to his problems. He couldn’t go back to his mother, and he couldn’t stay here.

  “I don’t know what to do,” Joshua moaned helplessly. He slammed his head down on the picnic table. “Ouch,” he said, having done that harder than intended. It was a familiar sensation, one that he missed.

  “Maybe Gentle Eagle can come up with a plan!” Mokwa offered. His enthusiasm, however, was not very contagious this time.

  The three stared at him as if to warn him not to dare tell Gentle Eagle.

  “What did I say? I’m just saying. Sheesh.”

  Pywacky snatched the fry bread from Mokwa’s hand before running back to the safety of his tree. Mokwa seemed surprised, as though he had forgotten he was still holding his hand out. “Good kitty,” Mokwa said.

  “What about the police?” Little Deer suggested, once again offering a dose of reality.

  “What? No, you can’t tell the cops I’m here!” Joshua said frantically, not getting Little Deer’s point.

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  “He means the cops will be looking for you,” Jenny clarified. “When did you run away from Rockford exactly?”

  “Last night.” Joshua couldn’t believe it even as he said it. It felt like weeks had gone by. “I got back from summer camp around five. I was supposed to walk home. Mom would have noticed by six probably—maybe later, knowing her.” Joshua ran through the likely scenario in his mind. At some point in the evening, his mother would have gotten worried enough to call Pastor Bob to see why Joshua wasn’t back yet. And then the cops would have been called soon thereafter, he deduced.